


All It Takes

by queerofthedagger



Series: Chasing Stars - A Series of Jegulus One-Shots [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-23 18:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21085634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofthedagger/pseuds/queerofthedagger
Summary: Regulus can think of countless reasons why this is a horrible idea, but the one why it isn’t might just be enough.





	All It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> Another answer to a prompt on tumblr: "You confessed your feelings and we're about to kiss but we get interrupted."

Regulus is walking down the corridor, his thoughts straying to the one topic he’d rather avoid as they do so often these days. The castle is quiet and dark, only a few torches on the walls spending a bit of yellow and orange lights, and he’s so tired that, not for the first time, he wonders if being a Prefect is really worth the trouble.

He dismisses the thought as soon as it comes, not for the first time either. No matter how hard he tries to tell himself that he didn’t enjoy the last few months as much as he did, he’s not that good at deceiving himself.

Ever since he started his sixth year, his life at school changed. When he learned that James Potter of all people was made Head Boy, he expected that nothing good could come out of it, but he didn’t think that it would be of much consequence to him.

At best, he thought he would be ignored, and at worst, well – James Potter has a history of picking fights with Slytherins, and the whole business with Sirius running away from home made the few interactions they had since then rather strange.

But James neither ignored nor antagonised him, quite the opposite, really.

It started after their first Prefect meeting of the term; James asked him to stay behind, and he already steeled himself for a few insults or maybe even a hex, his hand securely around his wand in his pocket, but he could have never prepared himself for James asking him how he is, like it was a common occurrence between them.

When he didn’t answer, simply staring at him like he had grown a second head, James had smiled that small, infuriating smile of his and told him that Sirius was fine. No matter how much Regulus wished to tell him where to shove it and that he doesn’t care, he couldn’t.

It only got worse from there, or better, depending on the perspective. James somehow always found an opportunity to catch him alone; after Prefect meetings, on his rounds, in the library, after Quidditch – at some point, Regulus even checked his robes for a Tracking Charm.

Despite his suspicion, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him to stop and it didn’t take long for him to… look forward to it. James was always friendly, always had a joke on his lips, listened to him, and contrary to the few people he talked to in Slytherin, he knew that James didn’t search him out for his name or his status.

At one point he straight out asked him what he was doing, why he kept bothering him, desperately trying to deny that he honestly started to enjoy James’ company. But James only shrugged and smiled, and told him that he liked spending time with him. As if it was that easy.

Regulus has no doubt how his parents, especially his dear mother, would react if word got out that he even spent a second in James Potters company that didn’t involve insults, ignorance or hexing, in the company of the boy his mother holds responsible for losing Sirius.

And it’s not like Regulus never thought the same thing – jealousy was a well-known companion ever since he started Hogwarts and became a witness to James’ and Sirius’ friendship, of Sirius distancing himself more and more from the family and, subsequently, from Regulus.

Somehow, all of that faded into the background whenever James’ sought him out. And he has to give it to him, he always manages to catch Regulus alone. Slowly, very slowly he wore down all of Regulus’ defences, and by now, nearly the end of term and thus, James’ time at Hogwarts, he can’t deny any longer just how much he likes the stupid, funny, charming git.

By now, he kind of understands how Sirius could give up so much for James Potter – he has a way of making you forget all your worries, of making you laugh and making everything seem so damn _easy_.

Between chats in empty classrooms, studying together in hidden corners of the library (Regulus might or might not have made up the need for some tutoring in Transfiguration), and late-night Seeker matches on the dark Quidditch pitch, his time with James quickly became the best part of his week.

He knows what it means, but he also knows that it has to end, as soon as school is over at the very least. So he ignores it as best as he can, trying to convince himself that James doesn’t see it, _him_, the same way and that he’s just going to relish it as long as it lasts, shoving all those dreams, the small smiles, the not-so-accidental touches away and steeling himself for the eventual, inevitable end of it all.

It’s not as successful as he would have liked, but he counts on the hope that it will be easier as soon as he doesn’t have to see that stupid mop of hair everywhere, doesn’t find brown eyes watching him from across the Great Hall any longer and there’s nobody left to bump shoulders and share a smile with in the corridors. 

A hand on his arm startles him out of his thoughts and he jumps, but before he can react, he’s pulled into a classroom. He makes a grab for his wand, a hex already on the tip of his tongue, but when he whirls around his heart skips a beat at James’ silly grin.

“Going to hex me?” James teases and he huffs, rolling his eyes for good measure.

“You know, you could have just asked like any normal person. Or well, as normal as you can manage, at least,” he says, but can’t help the small smile that is tugging at his lips.

James just grins and hops onto one of the desks, gesturing for him to take the one across from him. Regulus sighs, but it’s more for keeping up his image than anything else, and they both know it.

“Where would be the fun in that?” James asks as soon as he sits, but then shakes his head and suddenly looks so terribly earnest that Regulus raises an eyebrow in question. It’s a rare look on James, even with his rather recent development of being a bit more responsible than the previous years.

“I… wanted to talk to you about something,” James starts, one hand running through his hair. The gesture is familiar but right now, it looks more like a nervous tic than the usual cockiness.

Regulus heart starts beating faster and he clenches his hands around the edge of the desk he’s sitting on, because he suddenly has an idea where James might go with this, and Merlin he’s not ready, he can’t do this and –

“Regulus?” James' voice pulls him out of his sudden panic and when he looks up, James is standing in front of him and looks so bloody concerned, a crease between his brows and hazel eyes roaming over him.

He swallows and attempts a smile, suspecting that it’s rather crooked. “I’m fine, just tired, sorry. What did you want to talk about?” he asks, relieved when his voice doesn’t come out as shaky as he feels. All that Pureblood training must be good for _something_, right?

James just looks at him for a few more seconds before he slowly nods. “Alright, if you say so… Okay, listen, I…”

He trails off again and Salazar, is James Potter _blushing_? Somehow, the obvious nervousness calms him down a bit, but that still doesn’t give him an answer to how he’s going to deal with this.

James exhales in a rush and straightens up. “You might have suspected that already, but I think I’m in love with you,” he rushes out, saying it so quickly that the words are blurring into each other, but Regulus understands them, anyway.

He swallows, his heart racing and he can feel his palms sweating, but before he can think about what he’s going to say, James continues.

“I mean, I don’t even know if you like boys, much less me but I.., I’m leaving school soon and I need you to know that I loved spending time with you, you’re brilliant and funny and, you care so much even if you don’t want to show it but it’s obvious now that I know you and, oh Merlin I’m rambling. All I want to say is that it’s okay if you don’t feel the same but I – “

“I do,” Regulus blurts out before he even decided that he wants to, and instantly blushes. That might be the most stupid and least thought-through thing he ever did, but nobody ever told him that he cared, nobody ever – well, nobody ever knew him well enough, except maybe Sirius and no matter how bad of an idea the whole thing is, he can’t let James walk out of this room without letting him know that he feels the same.

James is staring at him, his mouth slightly open and eyes wide. “You – you do?” he asks, and there’s so much surprise in his voice that it nearly hurts.

He looks down, twisting his fingers together and trying to find some of the courage he just had. “Yeah, I do. You… You’re probably the only person who actually likes me for who I am and the time we spent together was…” he trails off, unable to think of a word that does his feelings justice.

“But I… I – “

“You can’t,” James finishes quietly, all the joy leaving his expression so quickly that Regulus winces. It _is_ what he meant to say, no matter how elated he feels, no matter how much it hurts him, but the doubts never once left his mind, all the reasons why this is the worst idea he ever heard of.

But looking at James now, at his slumped shoulders and the disappointment and defeat, he’s unable to say it.

“I’m scared,” he whispers instead, his voice rough and heavy and not for the first time does he wish that it could be different, that he could maybe be a bit more like Sirius, uncaring about the consequences of his actions.

James smiles softly and nods. “Yeah, me too.”

Regulus startles, staring at him. “You are?”

James laughs, taking a step closer to him but looking to the side before he draws a breath and meets his eyes again. “Of course I am. I was scared you’d just laugh at me, I’m still scared that you will run, I’m scared that you’re going to list all the reasons why this can’t happen. I’m scared of that bloody war and – and I’m scared that you’re going to listen to your bloody parents and that I’ll have to fight against you one day.”

He swallows, unable to look at James because it’s not like he never thought about any of these things, like he didn’t repeat them over and over, lying in his bed at night and trying desperately to let them convince him why this can never happen, but being here right now, he can’t find it in himself to simply accept it.

“I don’t know what to do. I have nowhere to go, they’ll never just let me leave,” he says, raising his head to look at James and begging him to understand.

James takes another step, so close now that Regulus’ knees are brushing against his hips and that he can make out the flecks of gold and green in James’ eyes.

“You do have somewhere to go. If you want to, that is. I don’t want to force you, but if you don’t want to do what they expect from you, you don’t have to,” James says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Despite everything, he believes him. Maybe just right now, but he never wanted to believe anything more in his life.

“Okay,” he murmurs, and the smile that lights up James’ whole face already makes it all worth it, somehow.

“I would really, really like to kiss you right now,” James grins, his hands running up Regulus’ arms and he shivers under the touch, only nodding in response for the fear of his voice failing him if he tries to say anything.

James leans in and he holds his breath, his heart is trying to beat out of his chest, and he can’t believe that this is really happening when a loud crash makes them both jump violently.

He whirls around, as much as that is possible in his current, sitting position, and groans when he makes out Sirius standing in the doorway.

He would have laughed at the expression of utter disbelief on his brother’s face if he wasn’t so annoyed that he chose this particular moment to interrupt them, and if his brain wasn’t so utterly void of any good excuse for the position they were just found in.

“What the hell is going on here,” Sirius asks, the first of them to find his voice – which is rather fair, in Regulus' opinion.

“Pads – “ James starts, both hands raised as if to placate an angered animal.

Sirius looks like he can’t decide if he’s more confused or angry, and wildly shakes his head. “No, seriously, what in Merlin’s name are you doing here with my brother?! I found the map on your bed and thought you two might be fighting but this – “ he gestures between the two of them and Regulus belatedly realises that James is still standing pretty close to him, “doesn’t look like fighting. At all.”

James sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Can we talk about this later, please?!”

Before Sirius can answer and most likely refuse, Regulus clears his throat and, after a short, questioning look at James who sighs again but nods, turns to Sirius and says, “Okay, I’ll give you the summary; we started spending time at the start of the year and get along… rather well. You just rudely interrupted something important, and you might have a new roommate over the summer. Does that satisfy your curiosity for now?”

He smirks faintly while Sirius’ face transforms from confusion over disbelief to delight and before he can say anything else, Sirius crosses the distance between them and hugs him and James, laughing loudly.

“Brilliant, I knew you had it in you, Reggie! Good job, James! Anyway I… I leave you to it, don’t mind me! Bye!”

Whit that, he whirls around but stops once at the door, still grinning brightly and winking at them. Merlin, he forgot how obnoxious his brother can be, and only years of suffering through that keep him from throwing a Tickling Jinx after him.

When the door clicks shut he swallows, suddenly feeling awkward. James laughs softly and the sound is so familiar and, weirdly enough, comfortable that he can’t help but smile up at him.

“I didn’t expect you to…” James trails off, gesturing helplessly and Regulus grins.

“To be so frank?” he asks, playing with a button of James’ robes.

James only hums, stepping close to him again and curling his fingers into Regulus’ collar. “Where were we?” he murmurs, his breath ghosting over Regulus’ lips and his eyes slip close on their own accord.

The first brush of their lips sends tingles down his spine and bloody hell, this feels better than he ever imagined. He impatiently pulls James closer and can feel him smile, before he kisses him more firmly, arms sneaking around his neck.

He has no idea how much time has passed when they finally break apart, both breathing heavily and slightly flushed. James pulls him close, burying his face in Regulus’ hair, and when he says, “You’ll see, it’ll be alright,” he can’t help but believe him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, let me know! 
> 
> Also, you can send me a prompt or just say hi, my [tumblr](https://queenofthedagger.tumblr.com/) is full of HP stuff. <3


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